Friday, January 28, 2011

What Makes Me Blush

Although I've posted two other blogs this morning -- one at Sensual N Secrets and the other at Midnight Seductions Authors, I thought I'd add another blog here. Get into the habit of trying to stay visible on the internet. LOL

If you didn't get a chance to read my post at MSA on the 25th, here it is again:

What Makes Me Blush

You would think, as an author of highly erotic romance novels, it would be difficult to make me blush. Not true. If anyone turns their attention toward me, I go red. And not a becoming pink flush to the cheeks -- oh no -- I go beet red and it only gets worse when someone points out that I'm red.

I have no problem discussing the most intimate information with others. I've done my research and investigated all kinds of fun and kinky things, but don't expect me to talk about htem without coloring up.

This can prove a bit distracting, especially when I discuss my philosophy behind Dominant/submissive relationships and the inclusion of BDSM in novels. I mean really, just how serious are you going to take a presentation about Power Exchanges, when the lady talking is bright red from the top of her head to the tips of her toes? Heck, even my scalp goes neon!

It's not that I'm ashames or uneasy about the subject -- far from that. I love analyzing D/s and BDSM information. I just don't like to be the center of attention.

And it isn't just sex that makes me blush. Even when I taught, I had issues with blushing. The kids would focus on me when I was giving instructions and, inevitably, one voice would pipe up with, "Wow, you're red! Are you angry?" and I'd have to say, no, I'm not angry, I just blush easily.

I don't think it's going to change any time soon, so I've resigned myself to keeping my discussion about kink centered to online. LOL, at least this way, the people reading the emails or chats, can't see how red I am.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It's That Little Bar On the Left

Blinkers. Turn signals. Indicators. I don't care what you call them, after several harrowing encounters and years as a defensive driver I have determined that there can only be two reasons why people fail to use them.
1-- No matter what their age, once a driver slides behind the wheel of his car, truck, or SUV; or a rider straddles her motorcycle or scooter, that person channels the memories of the drivers/riders of the late 19th Century. What better explanation is there than that when you consider it was only in the early days of the automobile that the concept of turn signals were foreign and unheard of. Heck, there weren't even windshields, side view mirrors, headlights, or roofs on the original cars.
2-- Drivers believe a hive mentality, very much like the Borg from STNG, engages and every other driver is psychically connected to each other so signalling changes or turns is irrelevant.
That's all I can think is happening when some MORON decides to slide into my lane as if all the laws of physics are suspended just for him the moment he twists the key in the ignition. I mean really, is it impossible to push that little bar on the left up or down to give a warning about where you're going? Is it?
Am I alone in this frustrating observation? Apparently so, based on the evidence I've collected in my travels throughout this country.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Research And A Writer's Life

(Notice: this blog was originally posted 1/14/11 at

I love writing what I write, but the research... my that can be interesting as well. Even more interesting is that I find some of my research has leaked into my everyday life. Main example being: In communications within Dominant/submissive relationships, at least those I've learned about while I was researching, it happens that the Dominant's name is written to begin

with a capital letter. This is common in the vanilla world as well through the application of proper grammar and spelling rules. Proper names always begin with a capital letter. But in the D/s lifestyle, when communicating through snail mail or email, submissives often do not begin their names with a capital letter. Even references to self, such as the use of the word "I", are kept in lower case.

This practice has made me very conscious of how I sign emails. If I accidently miskey an i or the q on my name, I make sure to correct it before hitting the send button. Not because I identify with any specific role in the Lifestyle (although if push came to shove I would probably consider myself a switch), but because my research has made me aware of the differences between communication styles based in D/s or vanilla worlds.

That being said, in my research I have learned there are as many reasons and philosophies of Dominant/submissive lifestyles as there are people who participate in it. There are books that discuss these varied philosophies, and --in my opinion-- the good ones usually caution readers interested in D/s to do as much research as possible before stepping into a situation they might not be ready for.

As with any relationship, each one is unique. How one partner relates to the other is based on the established levels of trust and pre-established rules. Fantasy is healthy if approached with an open mind and mutual consent. My writing takes into consideration a fantasized rendition of the D/s lifestyle. I don't advise anyone participate in "scene play" without establishing a relationship of trust with a partner with whom a firm foundation of respect exists.

In fiction, Dominants are often portrayed as powerful, all-knowing men or women who can easily identify a submissive simply by looking at the person (male or female). While submissives seem to take on the role of someone eager to please and willing to do as they're told by anyone in order to gain their own satisfaction, whether emotional or sexual. I freely admit I have been guilty of these same portrayals of characters with my own writing. At least I did before I began paying closer attention to details and did more research.

I try to reflect this understanding in my writing and often times I discover comments and snippets of conversations in my stories border on lessons for the uninitiated. Whether its the establishment of rules or a piece of "play" equipment, the teacher in me takes center stage in an effort to allow full comprehension within the reader (or even another character) to take place. In some cases, I think it almost detracts from the story. I try to incorporate enough character reaction or influence to keep from pulling the reader out of the story, but I worry that I'm not as successful as I'd hope.

As an author or reader, have you ever experienced a passage or dialogue that "taught" something? I have and, in many instances, I've been removed from the story enough that I've either stopped reading the book for a few days, or I've actually gone off to check the facts before returning to the story. If you have run across or written a similar scene, did it pull you out of the story or did it enhance the personality of the character doing the teaching?

Friday, January 14, 2011

I'm blogging today

At Sensual and Secret and talking about little things in research that have made their way into my everyday life.
Check it out and feel free to comment!